Saturday: [Sep 09/08/07] 07:00 PM
: Big Bro 8: The Hamster Chronicles (Week 10)
Weather at Big Brother House
Being a Stream of Consciousness Blog on the Hamsters of Big Brother 8, primarily exercised by writing down my impressions during the Showtime After Dark Episodes as well as clues and such I surmise from a network of links on Big Brother 8.
Why? Hey, I'd do that for a $1!
Week 10 - Day 2 (Saturday)
As I write this the HG's are battling their little hearts out in the F4 POV! I spent most of the day 'up in the Jokers Treehouse (Shoutbox they have for real time chat on BB). You could cut the tension with a knife! We followed each Update with a Concentrated Barrage of In Depth Strategy Sessions, as well as the continuing smack talk between the Dick Lovers and Haters (as well the occasional Zach supporter!)
But even with all that tension, a moment of levity can be found. In fact, it's pretty much needed in such emotion packed situations... laughter as an escape valve (!)
zpydah, one of the regular cutups tossed out 'now available! the fully loaded, anatomically correct Dick Doll with all the plugins and attachments' ... and from there I said I wanted to start a company that put out a line of 'Big Brother House Guest Action Dolls' and even 'HG Bobble Head' Dolls!
We, the Jokers and Jokerettes, then had a marvelous time tossing out various 'fashion accessories and optional attachments' for the HG Dolls. It was so funny I promised The Joker Gang to blog it, which I am here now, and to make sure I credited each and everyone that participated in the fun! I saved off the chat text once it was done ... so , here are the highlights of the HG Dolls, enjoy!
09/08/07 04:34 AM
now available! the fully loaded, anatomically correct Dick Doll with all the plugins and attachments
are you saying Dick is a new Bratz doll?
09/08/07 04:37 AM
note to self: Big Brother House Guest Action Figures and Bobble Head Dolls. To Do.
the best part is, he scares all your other toys into the toybox, saving cleaning up time
09/08/07 04:38 AM
Who wouldn't shell out 20 bucks for their Favorite HG Bobble Head? Dick Fans alone would make me a millionaire! Get your Dick Doll Here!
09/08/07 04:38 AM
a dick doll that just MF all the time and laughs randomly in the night. I might buy it
pull the string and he says, "mother f ucker"
09/08/07 04:41 AM
I'm sure the Kail Bobble Head Doll would be a Loss Leader
09/08/07 04:41 AM
Rechargable! He vibrates, he purrs, and like all good dicks, he spits!
09/08/07 04:42 AM
i thought kail was a bobble head doll
09/08/07 04:43 AM
Can the Dick Doll also say "Period, end of story!"
09/08/07 04:44 AM
i want the dick doll to say cigars, cigarettes, cocktails
09/08/07 04:44 AM
You could put the Jameka Bobblehead on your Dashboard, just like Bobblehead Jesus. Accessory Suction Cup Optional.
09/08/07 04:44 AM
I want and Eric doll that would talk me to sleep
09/08/07 04:45 AM
i don't want an eric doll, it is too messy with all the socks and stuff
09/08/07 04:45 AM
I want a Mike Doll that will stay Mute and clean my house lol
09/08/07 04:45 AM
and all Jamee's doll would say is mmmmmhmmmmm
09/08/07 04:46 AM
I thought Jessica said Boozeya?
09/08/07 04:46 AM
The Janelle Doll with Optional Designer Yellow Dress and Twirl Option!
09/08/07 04:47 AM
The Jen Doll with built in Eye Roll
09/08/07 04:47 AM
Janelle Doll would say,, "your hot, but I'm hotter'
09/08/07 04:48 AM
Tea Cup Option for Jen Doll
09/08/07 04:48 AM
And Micro Bikini Dress Suite
09/08/07 04:49 AM
Warning: Burning Jen Doll is NOT Advised. Highly Flamable!
jens would come with her own picture so she could stare at it all day
09/08/07 04:50 AM
Jameka with JackShack Prayer Booth Accessory
09/08/07 04:51 AM
Eric comes with his own Sock Puppet and Toilet Paper Roll
09/08/07 04:51 AM
Notice no one has talked about a Zach Doll
because it is invisible mobius
Zach is already on the market. It's called the Shrek Doll
Crown and Robe and Gray T Shirt Fashion Accessories for Dustin!
Perpetual Surprised Look!
Joe has the Gigantinormous Nipples Feature
zen which reminds me, eric has nipple piercings
Nick has Snap on/Snap off Moe Stooges or MoHawk Hair Piece Option
09/08/07 04:54 AM
yeah all Dustin does is his jaw drops open
Eric is Tripod Anatomically Correct
Daniele has the emo remote controll voice pack... you don't undeeerstaaaand. i'm soooo frustrateeeed. daddy nooooo!
New, Improved! The Dustin Doll with penile drip feature! <clap clap clap>
and don't forget Dani has to have her blue bandana
kails come with the key to her city
Does the Eric doll come with a pack of tube socks ?
Eric doll with removable bleeding nipple rings! (Requires the Jessica Squeaktoy for maximum play value.)
Gonorrhea Penicillin Pack for Joe & Dustin
eric also has an opt. bed with covers and a sock that falls to the floor everytime he rolls over
... and there you have it! We really had a blast with these Dolls folks as you can easily tell. I'm glad we took the opportunity to post it for 'posterity'!
... and now for some REAL IMPORTANT NEWS!
This just in! 
Daniele has won F4 POV! Details are sketchy at this time, Jokers is overwhelmed and not updating well. It is confirmed that Dani has won F4 POV. This is HUGE. It means that she will use it on herself (she has to from F4 on). Zach will then HAVE to put Jameka up in her place. Dani being the only remaining voter will vote Jameka out. Buh bye Jami, buh bye. Gangsta God Go With Thee! It was all preordained, you were meant to be here, you just didn't realize it would be preordained to talk to Julie Chicken on the Big Loser Couch. Be sure to give regards to the Jury Crew! See ya! More when I know more... POSTING!
Week 10 - Day 5 (Tuesday)
Now we get to it. Tonight was the live eviction of Jameka. But the REALLY COOL NEWS was that we FINALLY got to see the JURY HOUSE! Dustin then Jen then Amber then Jessica (immediately followed by Eric)... it was fun and finally put to rest those Motel Hell rumors, lol. As I write this the First of the F3 Comps is going on BBAD (It started at the End of the Live Show tonight - which meant they had been doing the Jump the Rabbit in the Rain Endurance for two hours. Dick is Smack Talking a Jedi Silent Zach for about an hour now, with no hint he's going to stop. Dani is a shivering mess, but is hanging tough. Man... it's brutal. BRUTAL. (They have to hold onto their Key while on a stump ... while a rabbit on a pole swings around that they jump over... every 10 minutes or so it starts artificially raining on them for about 5 minutes... which is cold. Dani being such a waif is shivering up a storm. OMG! Dani WENT DOWN! When they came back from BBAD Commercial (Damn it) Dani was getting towels... she obviously couldnt take anymore! Zach and Dick is left. This is a MAJOR Turn of Events! Dick is saying 'All Night Long' ... He's gonna do it for his daughter. Well... I guess we'll just see, won't we! STAY TUNED!
7 1/2 laters (the next morning for me)... And we have a winner in the Part 1 Competition. The winner of this BRUTAL Endurance Contest was Zach! Dick finally let go of his key. Note that the Bunny they were jumping over broke down (which caused Dani to fall!) From then on Zach and Dick were on their carrots being pelted with a Cold Water Mist for what I believe were 1/2 hour intervals followed by a 5 minute reprieve. Here's a video of when Dick finally gave it up:
Week 10 - Day 7 (Thurday)
If you are a Big Brother fan you made SURE you watched tonight's show. This was the 'All the Marbles Moment' tonight. Part 3, the Last Part of the HOH Final Competition. This was the Main Bout. We got 30 minutes of lead up to that event (naturally!) ... most of it 'old news' to those of us that are BB Junkies (and you KNOW who you are!). I don't have feeds, yet I knew for sure what had occurred minute by minute leading up to the Final Competition. I knew that Dick had won the Part 2 contest (but didn't know how or even what the nature of the contest was. We got what ever tidbits and breadcrumbs the HG's told us thru the feeds and passed those morsels around as badly needed nourishment for our BB Jones. We NEED to know what happened. We NEED to see the contest (that we know the conclusion of). To an outsider or someone who watches 'just the show' it probably looks silly, geeky and yes, even neurotic. But to many BB Fans it's more than a game.. it's a Quest. Will their Chosen Avatar House Guest go all the way? Will you, the Fan, finally be vindicated in your choice of Gladiator in this strange game? Will your comments on the bulletin boards across the Net, your carefully reasoned strategy talks ... will they somehow .. pay off? Will your Hunky Hunk or Hawt Babe make it and take it ALL? These are the questions that BB Addicts face. We are The Watchers of Hamsters. And we live and die from the many victory and defeats of our Hero. It is our Summer Game and like Hamsters going into Hybernation in Winter, we sense the wind down of the Game, the House, the People with a sense of ... melancholy. Let it last...just a little while longer. This is The Year. Don't let it end. No game will ever be this good again. Don't let it end. Don't let it end. But it must end. It comes down to the final 2. And tonight we found out who those final 2 are. Before that final contest we saw the grueling details of the First Competition. The Broken Bunny Contest as it will become known as. When Dani was tripped up by a stuttering bunny that just... tripped her up. The Terrible Tirade that Dick layed into Zach. Zach's stoic refusal to respond (he characterized it as Dick being like a Drill Sergeant). For seven and a half hours Dick and Zach stood on a 'Carrot' Stump, holding a Key stretched on bungie cord over their head while COLD water mist poured on them. This was NOT an easy task. I doubt that BB thought the contestants would last 4 hours let alone 7 since the real way to fail the game was to trip over the bunny going around - which now was broke - leading to a GRUELING Contest of Stamina. Eventually Dick let go of his Key and the Misery for both ended. On to Round 2. Zach had bought freedom by virtue of winning the First Contest. Dick and Dani were the contestants. The objective was to dive into one pool, get the path pieces that were taken over to the adjoining pool and placed as a 'map' of the HOH's. Dani took twice as long as Dick at this. Rather surprising that, given that Dani was supposed to be the 'smart one', and it was possible that Dick would throw the contest to his daughter so she would go to the Final Contest as the Strongest Competitor (for the Expected Mental Challenge). At any rate, Dick won in half the time. So the final contest came down to Dick versus Zach.
Right after this message....
We have a moment in between with Jameka coming to the Jury House (much to the dismay of the Jury Members). Jameka gives them another DVD of her eviction and it seems very apparent that there is NO LOVE for the Donatos, ESPECIALLY Evel Dick. We come back to the Big Showdown. Julie reads off a question that the Jury Members have answered and gives 2 possible answers (A or B) one of them being the actual answer. At the end of 6 questions the Contestant with the highest total of correct answers is the winner. And the winner was... Dick (3 to 2). WOW! The Joker Board lit up like a Friggin Christmas Tree! Team Teflon Donatos went I
NSANE!!! (As well as Dick and Dani, the actual contestants, lol). We go to commercial and when we come back, Dick makes it official, taking Dani to the Finals (After a slightly surreal speech by both Zach and Dani - basically Zach said 'remember his invention ' to Dick (some reality show he has in mind). Dick was just smirking through all that, of course. Dani said 'Weeeee, we won, we won we won!' And that's that. Period. End of Story. Dick took Dani and Team Donato lived happily ever after having defeated the Terrible Rogre Zach. Zach took his little wee wee to Julie's Couch and there was the usual Chenbot exit interview and the goodbye videos from Dick and Dani (watered down it seemed, especially Dick's). There you have it.... F2. Team Donato.
The Teflon Donatos. All that's left is for the Jury to vote one of them the money (and America voting 'for' Eric). Odds are Dani will get the money due to all the pent up dislike of Dick. But there's some that say that Dick was actually the more deserving - the real player here. It's a toss up in my mind. I think Dani 'choked' in the Finals. I think Dick really ran the strongest
race. He did so much smack talk that had such a huge impact on the game - yet managed to stay in there, actually avoided being evicted twice and was very much in jeopardy when he and Dustin were up together. (I'm not counting the End Game put ups that were pawn nom only). He mastermind one HELL of a comeback. He took his daughter down from the block and put himself up (!!!) That particular 'achievement' has NEVER occurred in BB history (since only the love of Father for his Daughter would be one of the very few times that it would occur!) When you look at the Gamesmanship of the Man, as well as the sheer entertainment he gave us (well, some of us - there were, admittedly, as many Dick Haters as Dick Lovers!) I, being a bit neutral as a blogger/journalist of Big Brother, can truly say that the most deserving player was Dick IMHO. Cigars! Cigarettes! Cocktails! ... indeed.
Evel Dick Tribute Video!
Summer to Remember (Tribute to the Donatos)
We'll be right back after this Video Song that's stuck in my brain...
TUESDAY - THE BIG ENCHILADA NIGHT!
LIVE. 8 PM CST. CBS. 13 Weeks ago 14 people moved into the Big Brother House. It's come down to one of the most intense Duo's in Big Brother History. Of course we have to have that long flashback sequence with the Announcer Voice Guy. But, let's face it... us addicts are appreciative of each morsel of BB History. For me the defining moment of the game was when Dick tapped that (magic) ball with the mallet and won the POV by 1 point ... which allowed him to take Dani down and Jessica put Dustin up which, of course, set up the final OMG of seeing Dustin's Eviction Face! Yes... all those famous memories of This House, These People, This Game. As I write this I'm reviewing it on DVR. It's still fresh. Yes, I think most of us 'knew' how the votes would go. And, yes, they did go just that way (exactly (!) as I predicted). Let's get that out of the way first: Dick won 5-2. Jameka and Jen voted for Daniele. That's that. Period. End of Story. I'm now re-watching the Jury Deliberations. Jen is wanting to see Dick come in. Here comes Zach. Everyone on the Jury agrees that they hate to have to choose between Dick and Daniele (as Eric puts it: We have to choose the lesser of two evils. Interestingly, Zach says send a message to Dick, don't reward him (he will later vote for him!) Dustin agrees to what Zach is saying (and yet he too votes for Dick). Jen makes her 'Dick should not win' speech... Amber makes her dingy self known, but let's face it we're talking Amber here.... not much street cred. The arguements go back and forth (centering around America's Puppet Eric's arguements to sway for Dick. In the end we know that only Jen and Jameka were not swayed (I think going in there was some that would have voted for Dani - Zach and Dustin - but the Jury deliberations, being tampered via the Eric Virus, pushes the vote out for Dick. We come back from a long, long commercial break (to a shot of Janelle in the Audience!)
Dustin begins with his question. Dick, knowing that your daughter has said 'I will carry my Dad with me because he's a terrible person and I would love to sit next to him because it will guarantee me a win' ... Dick says basically no one carried the other, we're a team. Amber goes next with what has to be the WORST Question Ever! Why should I give you the vote considering what you did to your boyfriend on national television with Nick. Honestly, you're a very pathetic person for what you did to him, I just want to know why should I respect you as a person'. Dani tells her that it's none of her business and if Amber is basing her vote on this personal aspect then she doesn't want her vote because it has nothing to do with this game. Jessica asks who would they pick if not the one that is now in the F2. Dick blows it off and says having Dani here was the only way he envisioned it. Eric asks Dick to tell him The Reason each member of the Jury deserves to be here. Dick says Dustin, Jen, Amber do not deserve to be in the F2. And onward... then Zach. What have you learned and will take with you from each Jury Member. Dani starts complementing. Then Dick gives his 'compliments'. Jameka: Daniele what do you give credit to yourself for the biggest moves and not using your father. Dani: It's been hard for me because I know a lot of people don't see us as one person. The whole Eric thing when I was first HOH was all my planning. There were the competitions and backdooring Jen. Jen has no respect for either one but asks has this experience helped their relationship. Dick says yes, it's a great start and if you don't already see that you're an idiot. Dani says 'wow, wow wow wow. I never in a million years would have thought we would have gotten this far, it's not your normal father daughter relationship. Vote with your heart, I'm content with that. Dick says the vote switch that saved him and evicted Dustin (Eric's voting via America's Vote will be discussed down the way!) ... Cut to Dani calling Dick's speech 'crappy'. cue cute music. Dick goes for a smoke, muttering 'great, something else for her to be pissed at me about" Classic Dick. Enter the Jurists into the Audience. Commercials and ...
HERE'S THE YOUTUBE OF THE JURY QUESTIONS:
We're back.. Julie talks to Dick and Dani. Both happy that it's Dad and Daughter in the F2. Julie instructs the Jury on the Vote. Each gives a short final statement (to the Donatos). Eric says 'for me it was a clear cut choice (since America told him who to vote for, lol) Jameka: Vote going to someone that gained her respect. Dustin: Someone said 'actions speak louder than words, so I am basing my vote on strategic action, not just words. Jen: Honestly (big laugh) I would rather vote for anyone but either of you. But I have to vote for one of you. Zach. I was in the house the longest with both of you. I met you both competitively and personally. With that I leave my vote. Amber: Congratulations to both of you. I was close to both of you in the house. I had ups and downs with both of you. I'm basing my decision on game strategic purpose (and then flubs getting her key into the slot). Jessica: Congratulations. Dick and Daniele. I'm voting for the person I enjoyed more in the house. (Big Laughs). May the best Donato Win. Janelle holds up a 'We Trust The Donatos' banner. When we come back the first five evicted houseguests will come face to face with their former housemates. Commercials. Comes back to Howie in the audience yelling something, next to him is Kaysar.
Julie is in between Vincent (Dick's son) and Dick's Mom Charlotte (Daniele's Grandma). Julie asks Charlotte 'You must be so delighted to see your son and your granddaughter make it to the final 2. But what was it like to see two people who you love that did not talk to each other for two years forge a relationship in the house? Charlotte: It's a miracle. Julie laughs 'You mean it wouldn't have happened ... ' Charlotte: It might have, but it would have taken a long time and ... etc... Julie asks Vince: 'Your Dad played a very provocative if not controversial game. Is he always like this? Vincent: Yeah, haha! ... You know Julie, I'm sure everyone brings a little bit of themselves to the game, but it's still just a game. He played his game and it got him far. Julie: He sure did. Julie introduces the 'early evicts' Carol, Mike, Kail, Joe and Nick. Julie says to Nick 'you didn't get a chance to speak to Dani during the Power of 10... would you like to say something to her now? Nick asks if Dani can hear him now... Dani sings ... Awkward! There's some other chit chat between Carol and Jessica and the others... nothing major... Then the BIG SURPRISE! ERIC IS DISCLOSSED TO THE HG'S AS AMERICA'S PLAYER! The looks on everyone's faces is hilarious as it dawns on them.
HERE'S THE YOUTUBE ON THE AP REVEAL
Coming up the Final Vote...
Julie reveals the Keys.
Eric has cast America's Vote for Dick
Jameka has cast her vote for Daniele
Dustin has voted for Dick to win Big Brother 8
Jen cast her vote for Daniele
And we are tied 2-2.
Zach voted for Dick to win the game.
Amber has voted for ... congratulations Dick you are the winner.
Dick and Dani hit the door and gointo the audience... Free, free at last, Lord Almighty free at last!
Julie is trying to get to talk to the winner, Dick... he's being mobbed at the moment... and we break for yet another commercial (grrr) (it was funny watching Amber begging for a hug from either of them - finally tugging on Dick's sleeve and Dick giving her a very quick hug)
We come back to see Julie showing Jessica's key making the official vote 5-2. Julie asks DIck what he's going to do and he says 'get the hell out of here... do the around the world thing'... Dani says she's ecstatic and 'we won it doesn't matter' (I guess Dani is counting a large allowance bump Dad, hehe) ... 81 days, 32 competitions. Dani cracks up on Julies announcement of Kid Nation. I believe I overhear Julie saying the Wrap party is Thursday. Final shot is Dick coming over to hug Vincent.
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. One fantastic season full of Spit and Vinegar! the Donato Lovers are very, very happy right now. Many are hoping for the Dick at Night Show (seriously!) Me? Oh, I have my own invention to discuss with The Dick. Call me ED, we'll do lunch! Seriously, I do hope Dick comes across my blog and actually reads it - and drops me a line to say what he HONESTLY thought of all this Malice In Blunderland that I've put together which I call Hamster Chronicles.
See you next summer when we will do it all again with brand new House Guests!
Zenny
and Dick's Secret Message to America!
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